Bouncing Back from Rejection: Why Your Squad Matters More Than the Score

Mid-August handed me a two-for-one on rejection. I lost a booking to another voice talent that week that sounded really promising, and a few days later I took Friday — my dog, not the day off — to a rally obedience trial hoping to knock out two more legs toward her Rally Master title.

Normally, failing either one of those would've been enough to wreck my mood for a day. Somehow, together, they didn't. Bouncing back from rejection was something I did without thinking.

If you don't know rally, think of it like agility's quieter cousin. You run a timed course, but instead of jumps, tunnels, and teeters, you're working through a string of obedience exercises. You need 10 qualifying legs for the Master title, max score is 100, and you need at least 70 to qualify.

Our Friday (God bless her) is not fast, and some days she's like a sullen teenager I “made” do something. So I get extra lively to keep her engaged, which means I'm usually winded by the time we finish the course about 2.5 minutes later from all the cheerleading.

The first trial of the day featured a judge I know well and respect. She gives me training tips and is the one who “outed” my confessed desire to one day also be a judge like her and has been really encouraging. At the end of a Rally run, as you're leaving the ring, the judge usually says, ”Thank you, you have qualified.” She said that to me and added “Nice handling.” My heart leapt. Loretta doesn’t toss compliments around lightly. This amazing woman who knows more about training than I think I ever will thought I did a good job. Wow! Score: 94. Sweet!

By the time we got to the next trial of the day, Friday's fire was out. The teenager was in full force: “Do I HAVE to?” Getting her to sit was a negotiation. Heeling was sloooow.  “Take the jump? Sniffing the mat is more fun. I’ll just walk around it. That sign….oooh…. that's a hard one, I mean I’ll try but don't get your hopes up Barb.” The Judge said “Thank you” as we left the ring. Uh oh.

Friday and I joined our friends who were all grouped together and they warned me that this judge doesn't say you qualified. So I checked the score.” Bad news. NQ.

Here's the part that surprised me: it didn't wreck my day. I stood around with friends, talking about our dogs' health issues, comparing notes on trial sites, taking group photos, cheering the ones who did qualify. Nobody moped. Nobody complained about the judge. It felt less like a competition and more like coffee with people who happen to also train dogs. That’s what I call bouncing back from rejection!

And when I thought about the booking I'd lost earlier that week, I realized I'd let that go too, without the usual spiral.

That's when it clicked. Bouncing back from rejection isn't really a mindset trick or a pep talk you give yourself in the mirror. It's mostly about who's standing next to you when the non-qualifying score shows up, or when the client picks someone else. The people who lift your mood just by being themselves, who make it all okay whether they realize they're doing it or not.

If you've got people like that in your corner, you already know what I mean. And if you're in a stretch where rejection's been showing up more than you'd like, that squad might matter more than whatever the score says.

I hope you've got a really great squad. And I hope you're part of someone else's, too.